Here I am sitting in the cold, the wind, looking to the ocean. I look out, and I see. I see the slow waves, the icy beach, and the snow beneath me. If I look hard enough, I can see a lighthouse in the distance. I love it and everything about it. I love the cold; I love the snow; I love to see the smile and joy in my babies' faces as they take it all in.
If you had shown me this picture exactly one year ago today, I would have thought you were crazy. There is no way I would ever live in a frozen land like that. I love the beach, a warm white sandy beach with refreshing water lapping at my bare feet. The beach in this picture is not that beach.
I try to tell God what is best for me, for my life, for my kids, but I have no idea. In my limited view of this world, how could I ever think that I know better than the One who created it? I have learned that when I don't like the path that God has given me to walk, I need to find the beauty in it. When I start to count the beauties, I fall in love with the God who knows me better than I know myself.
I want what is easy: the path of least resistance. How can I get from where I am to where I want to be with as little pain and suffering as possible? That is not what God wants. He knows me better. He wants to mold me, shape me, chisel away at me, until I look and act and behave more like His Son, His perfect Son. He wants to put me in places where I feel uncomfortable and give me tasks that seem too hard all so that I turn to Him, rely on Him, and learn from Him. When I let the uncomfortable happen, and I trust God through it, that is when He changes me from within.
I look out at the lighthouse, and I silently voice a prayer, "Thank you, God, for not giving me what I thought was best because if You had, I wouldn't have experienced Your best. Thank you, God, for sending me to this place so I could see more of Your beauty." It really is beautiful here, so beautiful, and if I would have had my way, I never would have seen it.
Looking Up,
Lindsay
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